Tom, you implied that the people you refused to play with were not only beginners but people with whom you had played previously.
Last night I played doubles with a beginner partner who I coached, unsolicited, during both games. I repeatedly told him the following advice: a) don't hit soft, mid-depth serves, as they get rammed back down your face; b) don't hit soft, mid-depth clears, as they also get smashed for a winner; c) pay attention to your partner's communications - don't hit it if I scream "SHORT SERVE!" or "LONG!" or "MINE!" d) flick your wrist to gain more power on shots, particularly clears; and e) keep underhand drop shots lower [i.e., less than 1.7m above the net]. I was somewhat concerned about being bossy, but we were losing multiple points because of these sort of repeated, easy-to-fix errors and I wanted to be sure that he started understanding and implementing these very basic strategies, or he would never be able to improve. I also made a point of praising him quite a bit when he hit good shots and incorporated my suggestions. At the end of the game he thanked me for the help, so I guess I wasn't too pushy with the advice. Seven nights out of eight, I am not a "good" player for my league (I'm pretty inconsistent but when my game is occassionally "on," I can hold my own in pretty much any game in my league) but there are still times when I am noticing something strategic that my (better) partner doesn't notice, so I don't let our differences in experience or skill keep me from trying to give what I feel is good advice.
Some people don't like to be told what to do by anyone, but for most people, I think it all depends on how the advice is delivered. One of the guys I occasionally play with is one of the better players in the area and he frequently gives me unsolicited advice, particularly about positioning, where I concede I need some help. Despite needing some coaching, I don't appreciate his advice because he shouts it out, often mid-rally when it's not certain what the heck he is yelling, he uses pet phrases that aren't very clear, and he just doesn't communicate effectively. I've also received advice that is too obvious: when I have hit four straight serves into the net tape (I know, that's awful and inexcusable, considering the serve is purely under my control), I really don't need anyone telling me to serve "just four inches higher." However, there are also some people in my league whose advice, even if unsolicited, I always welcome because it is usually helpful.
Anyway, Tom, it sounds like you have a lot of people in your leagues/clubs who are a bit on the touchy side. I just like to improve my playing, help others and have fun.