The obsessive badminton player and his unhappy girlfriend, help!!

[Cheung]

I am not questioning Gingerphil's view on money if you read my post more carefully. I am questioning how Gingerphil's gf's view on Gingerphil. For example, Is he a responsible human being, or is he just a selfish immature fool who only knows how to enjoy his badminton and forget about everything else that is important in life.

At the age of 24, one(Gingerphil in this case) should be ready to contribute to society(unless further professional education is required), and if one is still so immature to put so much money and effort into something that has no financial reward or future while being unemployed or working at McDonald's, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT(if you are a girl) or WOULD YOU LET YOUR DAUGHTER TO BE IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE LIKE THAT? HONESTLY... Think about it.

If you are in the shoes of Gingerphil's gf, wouldn't you do the same thing as she is doing? We have only heard one side of the story... imagine what the other side of the story could have been.

I think this is a good point. What is important in his life? You shouldn't tell him what is important for him, he will decide what is important for himself. After all, it's his life and decision.

As for daughter's aspect, you must be asian descent for that opinion. I think the girlfriend will make her own decision rather than her parents

 

[Cheung]

bananakid makes some very good points.

At this point in his life, the OP should really be taking steps towards finding and training for his career in the future. If badminton is it, then fine, but he should be aware that it is not going to put food on the table or a roof over his head, even if he wins at international levels. He may not have to worry about finances, if he's still living at home rent-free and doesn't have to worry about groceries etc, so he's free to develop whatever hobbies he may choose.

But like I said earlier, even if he's good enough to win internationlly, then so what? Eventually there will be better and younger players to take his place. If anyone cares to look up the winners of previous international level competition, where are they a few years afterwards? If they don't end up being coaches, they inevitably go into business or go into further studies.

This can be applied to any hobby. Different people have different place different values on the same thing. Bananakid doesn't place much value on badminton as a serious hobby. Yet other people can place great value on it vastly improving their quality of life.

 

[druss]

Wow, is BK the father of the daughter or something? Give it a break, want to rag on someones ass go find the dumb ass punks who hang out at the mall, pick on little kids and are a general negative impact on society.

Personally, I'd rather have my kid be involved with badminton than many other things I see people between 16 and 25 do.

And finally, it's NOT UP TO US to choose his life for him. Get off your high horse and let other people make their own decisions. I don't even know why you started talking about career and family... the question was quite simple.

Does this in some way relate to a previous experience of yours? Because you seem to be taking it very personally.

I'm sure the other side of the story is getting quite enough air time on twitter or something with all of her friends.

 

[cooler]

IMO, there are no right answers. Individual path is their own choosing. If we don't pursue our dream, then when we r old and walking with a cane, we would regret what we didn't do. However we can't chase every dreams, we only have limited resources and time on earth. U just have to rank them base on your life experience and inputs from external sources. Only u know what is best for u.

 

[druss]

IMO, there are no right answers. Individual path is their own choosing. If we don't pursue our dream, then when we r old and walking with a cane, we would regret what we didn't do. However we can't chase every dreams, we only have limited resources and time on earth. U just have to rank them base on your life experience and inputs from external sources. Only u know what is best for u.

exactly... apparently though bananakid knows what's best for all of us.

 

[cooler]

exactly... apparently though bananakid knows what's best for all of us.

everybody here gave their opinions here, it's up to the receiver decide how to use them.

 

[visor]

Not particularly directed at cooler or anyone else, but in general, I don't understand why everyone is all getting heated up and worked up in discussing this topic. We're just giving our opinions, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

Of course, the OP will weigh his choices himself and decide for himself what he should do at this point in his life and in his relationship! It's not as if we're taking a poll and he has to do what the majority says...

 

[chris-ccc]

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions

...... I don't understand why everyone is all getting heated up and worked up in discussing this topic. We're just giving our opinions, and everyone is entitled to their own opinions.

Of course, the OP will weigh his choices himself and decide for himself what he should do at this point in his life and in his relationship! It's not as if we're taking a poll and he has to do what the majority says...

.
Agree.
Our life is too short (averaging 80 years?, some say).

So why not just enjoy life?; Be it, hobbies, work, money, time, food, relationship, passion, Badminton, etc...

Why spend our time just to earn money? Why think of just relationship? Why think of just Badminton? etc...

If we have the essentials (food, water, shelter, warm clothing, etc...), let's enjoy our Badminton.
.

 

[visor]

If we have the essentials (food, water, shelter, warm clothing, etc...), let's enjoy our Badminton

Agree. I know you wrote "etc" but you missed out "love", which is pretty important.... imho, of course....

 

[gingerphil79]

Btw, anyone wonders if gingerphil79 actually comes from a "well" family & financial future is "secured"? maybe money is not a big issue for either gingerphil79 and his gf. maybe it's a matter of providing more time & attention for the gf??..

gingerphil79, just wondering, what's your reaction if your gf wants to do her own activity? same as her or you let her do her own thing? or she doesn't have much activities/friends to keep her occupied?

With regards to money, I am fine, good job, live at home, nice wee car, np money wise.

She is trying to spite me a wee bit by being busy at weekends when I am free. She is big into running (jogging) so she is going to this lot more often but with regards to us working out, I dont know. Right now, we are just sort of texting abit but thats it.

For now am picking badminton all the way. Her and I have had very on off relationship and we used to always fight every week or so. Badminton makes me happy, I love the thought of every day because I get to go play badminton after work. I do enjoy seeing her too but I wanna do this. Im young and fit and now is the time to see how far I can take this, not 10 - 20 years down the line. Am not saying i'll become international but I enjoy playing competitive badminton, I enjoy playing in general.

With regards to the woman, I really dont care anymore what happens. My guess is it wont work out and am fine with that. I want a woman who wants to support my dream rather than hate me playing it with a passion.

 

[chris-ccc]

I want a woman who wants to support my dream

With regards to the woman, I really dont care anymore what happens.My guess is it wont work out and am fine with that. I want a woman who wants to support my dream rather than hate me playing it with a passion.

.
IMHO, This is wise thinking:
I want a woman who wants to support my dream rather than hate me playing it with a passion.
.

 

[Cheung]

Very sensible. I think the majority will follow your decision.

 

[luv2play]

wow..after reading all the posts..that's a great final decision...i agree with you 100%...i hope i will be able to make a choice like that with my life in my situation too heheh...thnx for inspiration

 

[gingerphil79]

wow..after reading all the posts..that's a great final decision...i agree with you 100%...i hope i will be able to make a choice like that with my life in my situation too heheh...thnx for inspiration

Cheers mate. So far, she has thought about it and has accepted it. Plus she is trying to make time at the weekend for me but we shall see how it goes. Hopefully will see her all sat and sunday so happy days

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE, YOU DONT WANT TO LOOK BACK AND HAVE REGRETS

or atleast do as much as you can do and if it doesnt work out, atleast ur able to say, "I worked my butt off!", and say "I couldnt have done any more" At least u will have tried knowing you did your best

And with regards to the woman, if she really is the right 1 for you, she will want u to be happy and she will support your dream

 

[ctjcad]

^^What can i say..^^

..YOU DA MAN, gingerphil79!

 

[Cheung]

or atleast do as much as you can do and if it doesnt work out, atleast ur able to say, "I worked my butt off!", and say "I couldnt have done any more" At least u will have tried knowing you did your best

Exactly the same as I did some years ago..

And with regards to the woman, if she really is the right 1 for you, she will want u to be happy and she will support your dream

And see how things work out.

 

[cheekygen]

Cheers mate. So far, she has thought about it and has accepted it. Plus she is trying to make time at the weekend for me but we shall see how it goes. Hopefully will see her all sat and sunday so happy days

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE, YOU DONT WANT TO LOOK BACK AND HAVE REGRETS

or atleast do as much as you can do and if it doesnt work out, atleast ur able to say, "I worked my butt off!", and say "I couldnt have done any more" At least u will have tried knowing you did your best

And with regards to the woman, if she really is the right 1 for you, she will want u to be happy and she will support your dream

Hi gingerphil79,

Just my humble opinion...

People play badminton for various reasons.... some for passion, health, networking, dream & ambition, fame, fortune etc. You have a deep desire and passion to excel in badminton but why? You have to be clear of the underlying reason why you want to pursue a higher level in badminton. Perhaps it is an ambition, a challenge or a dream, but you must first explore the unconscious reason why. Does winning makes you feel good and on top of the world? Are you trying to prove something, to impress or you want to gain respect, approval, attention, fame from your community or peers? Some people want to win because it proves their self worthiness, to show the world that I'm good. Or, is there any particular incidents/person that spur your desire and passion in badminton?

Playing competitively requires a lots of sacrifice and discipline. I would say if you want to challenge yourself to a higher level, you got to find someone who is supportive and understand your dreams and desire. At the end of the day, when you lost a match, you wouldn't want your gf to come over and tell you "See, told you so.... you deserve it... LOSER!" ... Badminton can be a medium to improve relationship when your partner is supportive. There are ups and downs in the journey of badminton career. If you got the supports from your love ones that no matter you win or lose, you are still their champion, you are half way through your challenge. That's the power of the support system that you need to persevere during the hard times. However, if your partner is not supportive, even if you win, you are not as joyful and happy as you can't share the glory with her.

It's a positive sign that your gf is taking initiative to compromise and it shows that she values the relationship as much as you do. All the best!

 

[gingerphil79]

You have a deep desire and passion to excel in badminton but why? You have to be clear of the underlying reason why you want to pursue a higher level in badminton. Perhaps it is an ambition, a challenge or a dream, but you must first explore the unconscious reason why. Does winning makes you feel good and on top of the world? Are you trying to prove something, to impress or you want to gain respect, approval, attention, fame from your community or peers? Some people wants to win because it proves their self worthiness, to show the world that I'm good. Or, is there any particular incidents/person that spur your desire and passion in badminton?

Ive never been good at any sport and this is the 1 sport which I was anyway decent at but I love playing it. It makes me happy to play and improve. I love competing and getting tough games. Am trying to prove something to myself more than anything else. I want to get better at it. I know I can do it esp now I have a coach. I want to reach the next grade and win a tournament at the end of this season (3 months) left. I just love playing, I love the adrenaline rush, I love hitting the shuttle back line to back line, I love jump smashing. I feel like its kind of a dance when I play esp singles. It makes me feel good in general.

 

[luv2play]

that is just like mee xD....badminton is the only sport i ever found that has so many strategies to it and techniques than just physical strength and power..so different from the other sports i also enjoy...it just keeps me interested and esp. knowing that once you've mastered a certain technique..it will really help develop ur skill and level of play in games...i just think it's FUNN...but sometimes i find that i get annoyed when trying to master these seemingly simple techniques...practice makes perfect but i am not very PATIENT!! i feel that i am not improving fast enough..esp. since i only get to practice once a week right now..hopefully more soon....my goal is to compete in a tournament nxt january that my team and i decided to drop out of this year bcuz of it being too rushed..we all agreed we needed to practice more w/ each other and see where we are at...i also wanted to see where i am at in my level of play and competition right now along with my doubles partner before i go into anything serious as i want to be able to do my best and be very prepared when the tournament comes around again...also cuz i am not sure how consistent me and my partner can be as we haven't done much competing besides at our school districts...

 

[visor]

Ahhhhh, to be young and carefree again...