You play more than three times a week.

You own more than two rackets.

You would rather play Badminton than go on a date.

You have called in sick to work to go play Badminton.

You have a Badminton net set up inside your house.

Your primary requirement for a boyfriend/girlfriend is their Badminton game.

You only take jobs that fit into your Badminton schedule.

You plan your vacations around Badminton.

You actually do more than one hour of Badminton drills a week.

You own more than two Badminton books.

You own a racket stringing machine.

When watching a football match and the defense becomes weak you shout SMASH! SMASH!

Your curtains have to be 1 inch higher at the ends than in the middle.

You give up your Friday nights to play badminton.

You drive 11 hours to play in a tournament even though you are sick, unfit, and haven’t played in a month.

Your racket stringing machine is better than your father’s.

At paries and get togethers you compare and try to outdo callouses with friends.

Your favorite pasttime is whittling or pumicing away at your old callouse buildups.

The hilite of any evening is watching home videos of your past matches, no matter how bad they were.

You find yourself continually rummaging at shoe sales hopeful of finding that elusive ultimate pair of badminton shoes, for under $10.

Just a split-second before you greet someone you think forehand or backhand grip for the handshake.

You are relieved when the dandruff problem you thought you were having turns out to be just feather dust.

As you stand you know exactly where five foot is on your body.

When you’re male, instead of Pamela Anderson, a picture of Camilla Martin hangs above your bed.

While fishing, looking at the line always reminds you to restring your racquet.

When eating pancakes or waffles, you can’t help but wonder how the maple syrup might improve your grip.

After all your toenails grind to a nub or fall off completely, you try to convince yourself that they weren’t really necessary anyways and how much you’ll save not having to buy nail clippers anymore.

You set the humidity level in your house not to your family comforts, but so that your shuttles won’t dry out so quickly.

Your bathroom is stuffed with tubes of shuttles and you purposedly take very hot showers so that they will be kept moist.

You “chasse” instead of walk.

You know exactly how many cross and main strings there are in a racket.

You know exactly how many feathers there are in a shuttle.

Whenever you hear the word “defend”, you unconciously jumps to the open defense stance.

You buy a tennis/squash racket not to play tennis/squash but to train your wrist strength.

Your 6-racket bag is not big enough to hold all your equipments you have to buy another one.

You know all the shuttle speed codes from all the different manufacturers.

You use your college text books as weights for wrist training

When someone mention “bird” you have trouble finding the connection with badminton.

You go “ah… i see…” when you finally realized they are referring to the geese.

You have more than 3 broken rackets.

Your racket arm is noticibly bigger than the other.

You know what Carbon, Graphite, Boron, Kevlar and Vectran are.

You dislocated your shoulder while playing badminton.

You meet a new Danish man/woman in town and the first thing your ask him/her is “do you play badminton?”.

You do endurance training so that you can last through a singles game.

When someone mentions “single”, you thought of badminton instead of a marital status.

You wish you live in Malaysia or Indonesia.

You learn Danish so that you can read online Danish badminton news.

You always have a stockpile of more than half dozen tubes of shuttles at home.

You have a shuttlecock as desk decoration.

You own more than one net.

You’d rather eat in the living room so you can string your rackets on the dinning room table.

You break a string every 4 weeks.

You can do backhand smashes.

You can do overhead backhand smashes.

Your car’s trunk/boot is stuffed with badminton gears.

You know how to steam a tube of shuttle.

You know how to tip a shuttle.

You have a preferred stringer who strings all your racket(s).

You are your preferred stringer.

You finally realized college textbooks are not heavy enough and go buy a real set of dumb-bells.

When you’re male, instead of Pamela Anderson, a picture of Gong Zhi Chao hangs above your bed.

A picture of Gong Zhi Chao hangs above your bed, even if you are female.

You nearly flunk out of school because you spent all your time playing badminton.

You’d rather flunk out of school so that you have more time for badminton.

You go to a local tournament and wonder why no one do that “OOooo…. ARR!” cheer when the player smashes.

You buy a VCR for watching badminton tapes, and only for that purpose.

When you bought your VCR, you made sure that it has a good slow motion replay so you can watch all those great shots in slow motion.

Your partner accidentally smashed your eye-glasses during a game, you immediate run to clean your eye, hop in the car, drive home, put on your contacts, come back, start playing again, all in less than 15 mins.

You find that incredible badminton match videotape at a party and nothing can stop you from watching it right away.

Your eyes are bloodshot in the morning from watching your new badminton video three times during the night.

You keep trying to play the perfect jump smash.

You play in four badminton clubs so you can play afternoons and evenings in the weekend and every night of the week.

Your badminton shoes start to fall apart after three months of solid playing.

When you find the right badminton shoes, you buy three pairs instead of one.

You go to Malaysia and look for Stadium Negara as one of your “must see tourist attractions”.

You go to Malaysia and immediately ask the Hotel’s concierge “which shopping centre has all the badminton shops?”

You have a miniature shuttlecock decorating your car interior.

When you are watching badminton on video your legs start twitching because of an automatic reflex action.

You have three pairs of unused badminton shoes purchased in your search for the perfect pair.

Now that you have the perfect pair, you live in fear of their being discontinued before you can stock up.

In the shower, you start reviewing what you should have done during yesterday’s game and your wife has to remind you to get out and get moving before you’re late to work.

You practice footwork in front of the men’s room mirror when you do get to work.

Tomorrow you are having your exams, you haven’t read a thing yet you come to check your favourite badminton site. I am doing the same.

You hold your girlfriend’s hand, she feels as if you are strengthening your grip.

You buy a multisystem VCR and TV ONLY to watch badminton tapes that your friends from Asia send you.

On each 14th of the month, you automatically ask yourself if you should set or not.

your friends call you a BAD nerd

you have a web page dedicated to badminton

you are an extreme fanatic if you have more than one web page dedicated to badminton

you hear some one say the word “outside” you star automatically cussing everyone around you.

you lie to your girlfriend that you love her more then badminton 🙂

you didn’t go to school cause you were wacthing badminton tournment on tv.

You are a badminton fanatic if you are reading this.

You buy a brand new V8 Camera to record your own game so you can go home and pick out your mistakes.

You slow-motion through your mistakes to think about how to fix them.

You immediately pick a fight with someone that mentions about badminton being a weak sport.

You only workout your racket arm.

You meditate during spare time to think about strategies and techniques.

Your favorite pick-up place is the badminton club.

You know all the staff in the pro shop.

You get special discounts on equipments because you buy them so frequently at the pro shop.

You come home at 4 o’clock in the morning because you were playing at the badminton club.

Your muscles never hurt even if you play 8 hours of badminton straight.

You have dreams about badminton tactics and techniques.

You are nodding your head and agreeing to many of these.

you did not go to school cause you wanted to try your newest trick shot.

your friends call you the wall cause even they can’t get through you.

you stare at your racket more than you stare at your girlfriend.

you play half-court singles with head cover on to improve wrist strength

your bedroom floor is strewn with shuttlecocks from when you were practising yo ur short serve

you love your rackets so much you start giving them names like “Lulu” and “Bam- Bam”

you leave work early so that you can get to your club early enough to get some singles in with other keen players

you get in trouble with your boss for spending too much time surfing the intern et looking for cheaper shuttles and rackets

you buy a pair of jogging pants and discard the Nike logo by stitching 2 Y’s (Yonex) over it.

you buy Adidas products only because the logo looks like a shuttlecock.

after falling asleep in front of the TV, your remote control flies into the air while you do a backhand volley in your dreams

your knees hurt before and after but NOT DURING the game

you challenge the person who says ‘badminton is for wimps’ to a agme and give him +14.

you can’t resist hitting a few shuttles even in your high-heeled shoes.

the guy who strings your raquet recognizes it as yours even if someone else brings it there for you.

your mobile phone display, laptop screen saver, and car sticker screams “badminton”

your head bleeds from where your partner hit you with his racquet and you still want to continue the game

you set aside hundreds of shuttlecocks to form a tree for christmas

you and your partner talk for hours on the phone about why you lost a particular game

you play on your birthday, on christmas, and new year

your lost cellular phone gets returned to you because the display says “badminton addict” and the waiter knows it’s yours

you run a red light because you’re late for your game

you match your badminton attire with the colors found in your racquet

you curse when you miss a super-easy shot

You get all emotional & depressed when you loose a game.

You dream & think about your play tactics at the oddest time of the day

You can hit a backwards blind shot that turns into a winner.

You write down the dates of Sky Sports matches in your diary.

You had to take out a second mortgage to pay for your last racket.

You can actually do a serve that clips the net.

You won the match, you kneel to rejoice!

You are dying to meet Camilla Martin.

You want to kick Peter’s butt.

You like playing Badminton better than going to your girlfriend’s house.

You had more than 4 badminton uniforms

If you have an idol and you keep thinking about him/her day and night…

you know more than your bad teacher

I practice my overhand clear motion when I’m bored

To get the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube, I hold it by the tail and do a smashing motion with it

Club hours never seem long enough

I ask anyone I meet who is Chinese, Korean, Malaysian or Indonesian if they play badminton

Sometimes I dream about playing badminton and my body twitches hard at the part where I smash

I make it a point to tell people I meet that badminton is my #1 sport

I have tendonitis in my shoulder from badminton

I used to think that if I played often enough, I could beat everyone at my club

When it wasn’t a club night, I would practice hitting a bird against the wall of a squash court

I would get VERY upset when a club night was cancelled

I am immediately attracted to any girl who says she is good at badminton, no matter how ugly she is 🙂

At the end of club hours, when courts are free and not many people are there anymore, I beg people to play singles with me…